We also learned that we would need to put in a curtain drain along the side of our house that would properly allow road water to not end up under our house. There were other issues as well but those were the biggest ones. After speaking with our friend/contractor and him looking at the photos of the damage, he told Issues that it would cost us around $25,000 to fix. This was due to the fact that we would have to hire a certified foundation specialist/engineer to make sure it was done right and because the house would have to be jacked up (this was also what the inspector said).
It was a sad weekend for us as we lost our buyer and all confidence that our house would be able to sell.
We both felt the tension of wanting to ask God "WHY", because we knew in our hearts that we needed to be asking "How". Jeff has been talking about this for weeks in our house and Eric had just preached on it on Sunday. It was so so hard to not ask God Why?. I thought about all the work we have done on this house, how all our boys were born here. How we always thought this house was from God and He had brought it to us...why would He bring us a house He knew would do this? I had to stop and pray and ask God for help. Help to ask Him how He wanted me to respond to this instead of asking WHY?. I even found myself listing off to God all our great qualities and how we have been such faithful stewards of His money and resources. Never in debt, never buying more then we had money for, never missing a payment, never going over our means (do I sound like someone we all know here!).
I had much to boast about, much to take pride in. And in my mind I assumed we would be blessed in the ways that I felt added up. "PLUS", I told God, "we are giving up all our friends, community, security of Job, to move to a blip in the middle of the ocean. Surely You would not allow this to be if we are doing all these things." It was a hefty case I had. I looked across the room and I saw God sitting in the chair, hands folded, eyes restful and warm. He waited till I was done and then asked me to come and sit with Him.
"Its My plan Kim, My story.
Cling to Me and all you know is true...I am all you need."
It's hard to have cracks in your walls, to have unsure footing, to know that underneath, there is stuff that is broken and the cost is great to fix it. And isn't that me...I have cracks and underneath there's stuff...lot's of stuff, some of it hiding, some of it visible. And the cost was great to fix to make me whole and new! And the price to fix it all...all the broken and damaged of the world was His Son. It was a pivotal moment in my faith and relationship with Jesus.
Why do we/I start to question Him and His goodness when trials like these come. Why does my mind go to punishment instead of blessing. I'm thinking about this...it's changing me.
So here's what's happening next. We can't fix the house. There is no money. We never in all our lives thought that we would be in the pile of people who walked away. So Jeff called the bank and told them the story.
Surprisingly, they were very sympathetic and understood our circumstances. They told us what forms to fill out and how to go about the next steps. Most likely the bank will fix the house and then resell it. We don't think they will loose much because we bought it early on in the market, it was actually purchased for it's value. (At least that's what I'm telling myself)
Our plan is to stay here until the first week of January, keep paying our mortgage and try to assist with the short sale until we leave.
We would appreciate your prayers for these coming months as we do all we can to sell it before we leave. Jeff and I both feel "released" from the issue and do not see it as some "sign" that we are not suppose to go. I thought of that one also. But God quickly said that was a lie from the Great Deceiver and to keep my eyes up on Him. Thanks for reading...love you all!
Kim
