I only have a few more moments left...
Tonight the world will turn and something new will begin. 
Paths that we're once crooked will start to steer straight and others will take a new turn for something uncertain or new or maybe both.  It's a mystery to begin a new year.  There's that hope that all things will be set right again and that a new chance might just be mine.
My week went down some paths that I didn't expect it too.  Eli got sick and he ended up in the ICU.  And I was lost and my world was slipping through my fingers.  My healthy little boy became limp and frail and his eyes turned dark.  And that's why I molded up next to him late that night, with wires and tubes coming from all over is little body.  I needed to smell him, to feel his chest rise and listen to his breath.  We told him all the machines where robots...he went with it and had a smile.  And I had that mommy moment that made my heart sink deep.  I promise...I promise I'll never take this little life for granted ever again.  I'll love him better, I'll say yes more, I'll not get so impatient when the day is long and I'm clear out of happy feelings. Just make him better Jesus...please...let tomorrow bring him new life and...
My world twisted and shook.  And at the same time flashing in my mind where all the mommy stories I have read about with there babies and the pain and love that broke them in half when they where sick.
But in the morning he was better and then they told us the news that they didn't think he had type 1 diabetes.  And before that I was already ready to change the world for type 1 diabetes.  Me and Eli would be the change that the world would need to be.  I had said yes, if that was going to be our story.  I had no idea what it would mean but I was gonna do it.
But thankfully, (deep breath) that was not going to have to be.  We would have worn it well...and who knows maybe there's something there that I didn't know was.  But I know that the Adams can do more then we thought.  With Jesus we rise.

New train tracks...Jeff says we should have enough to fill the whole house...


  Sunday night...


We transported Eli Monday night from Harrison to Mary Bridge Children's Hospital.  Monday night he was in the ICU till he was stable. (I don't have any photos of that, didn't have my camera, but wouldn't have taken any photos anyways, not something I really want to see again)  Then on Tuesday we got moved to the general floor.  This is one of the many great nurses who cared and loved us well.


A few weekends ago we went to Snohomish to our extended family and Whobalated...





 And we also got to visit Ang and her 3 monkeys. 



 And this Christmas we had NEW friends come.  We loved it! And we love them!!!

Ok I know that was brief and a bit to the point...but the new year is creeping in and I should be in bed because I also have a cold.  But I couldn't end this year without one last post.  Thank you 2010 for all the 365 days that you brought.  I wasn't always my best, and some days I'm not so proud of.  But then there's those days that I grew taller.  My skin got softer and I said yes to hard things.  I made the choice to be in it for the long run.
:::My heart got wider...
:::Oh and parts of me no longer had to hide anymore...
:::I learned to strut...
:::And I found out that dolphins are a state of mind not just a fish...

So I will take a bow to 2010...thank you!
See you next year!

Being a pastor's wife has it's icee cold days and also has it's warm summer the surf is great days.  And when it's cold...it's cold.  I bundle up and hold on and wait.  6 years of going to church in a separate car can have it's wear on a girl.  I go strong for a long time and then just like when you realize the lady in the check out stand charged you for 3 shampoo's instead of 1, I get that feeling of being gypped.
I crave normal...
I want to leave the house with "us" and come home and forget the world. 
But then, just when I'm in the car and I'm looking over at that empty seat, and the receipt shows the number 3 instead of 1...I get to go on a trip and it's paid for because Jeff was needed for a wedding, and all we had to do was show up. 
So I said good-by to my monkeys, left them with those who would love them well and we drove...









And I did stuff like talk on the phone and take pictures, at the same time.




And though we love our babies, we needed this.  I needed this.  Jeff and I are in a place where we are starting to realize that when the other fails us it's ok...letting each other fail let's the truth of who we are come out in a safe place.   If it's not safe to fail...then it's not safe to be you...to be broken...and you hide and cover and places in your heart may grow cold and lost.  It's a steep climb with dead ends, but we're trying to live like we have the rest of our lives to figure this all out.  I'm not going anywhere...are you? Nope...okay then...let's touch fingers and try again tomorrow. 

And we are really different.
I'm the one on the left...
We do so much better if I let him be him and he lets me be me.  After all that's what made us fall in love in the first place.


 Ever get that feeling like your being followed...


And the mountains where freaking awesome.







And we didn't know what to do with ourselves.  Every light had to be turned on. Shades open...
We quickly made it ours and headed to pool...








Thank you...I will.
"Excuse me, do you have dolphins...?"


And you know what make's these the most beautiful towels I have ever seen in my whole life...I didn't have to fold them AND I could use all of them and no one could get mad at me.






This water-slide was just what I needed to let go of it all.   The first time I went I didn't wait for the guard to give me the "aOk".  I ran up the stairs and just flung myself down the tube.  Jeff told me next time I needed to wait..."wait for what?" I asked...
Stuff like that happens when you think water-slides are just for you, when you make them yours. I went down like 20 times...I don't know what the other people where doing in the pool...get out of the freaken pool and fling yourself down a water-slide...You'll feel so much better about your world.




I'm gonna call this a dolphin... 

which officially makes this the most epic water-slide park I've ever been to.


Oh yes...the rehearsal.  I kept joking with Jay, "there's a wedding...REALLY...who?" "I'm sorry I have an appointment with the dolphins at the water-slide park..."




Suncadia Rocks it so well...they had make your own cranberry/popcorn garland going on in the main lobby area.  So we settled in and felt like one of the posh.  The head chef led the group and we just fell right in with those around us like old friends.  Everyone's so happy in cranberry popcorn world.






"Hey little girl...you just play and soak it all in.  Remember how loved you are to have dolphins and water-slides and cranberry/popcorn world.  Remember this so that on the days that are cold you have something warm to hold onto"
- me











And the only way I can describe it was that everything was ours...the morning...the snow, the little bath soaps, the warm fire in our room, all of it.  All ours.



"Oh and could we please have some snow as we sit down to eat breakfast...yes that's just the right size..perfect."



 I was amazed at the height of this glass..largest glass I have ever seen.








And this is love...



And I'm really in love when where walking around getting ready to go and Jeff's like "babe...wanna get a chai?"

And with that I have some warmth to bring home and put in my pocket.  And on Sunday mornings, when my cravings for normal settle in, I'll pull it out and be thankful.  I got to play and be with my best friend and let everything blur into the background.  We have so much to life to live.  We're gonna keep making it ours. 
Till next time...