Man I love this kid...

by - 12:15 AM




He's just life... and we need him.  He's the smile in the morning that I need to start my day.  Cuz my last few days haven't been my best and it feels like I have someone else's underwear on.  The day is hard enough on it's own, I really don't need more of me to make it more complicated.  But sometimes I'm just sad, like really sad.  Like so sad that I crawl into my bed in a ball and just cry really really hard.  So hard that when I woke up this morning Jeff was like, why do you look so tired.  I have this thing that happens to me when I cry, my eyes stay puffy for like the whole next day.  I hated that when I was a little kid and I had to go to school the next day, so I lied and told people that I had allergies.
So I have no idea why I cried so hard.  I mean I was sad but it was so much more.
And I desperately tried so hard to redeem today.  I woke up determined to have a really great day.  But Silas wanted his pancakes in like warp speed and I just couldn't hold all the pieces together and it didn't take much.  I mean who wakes up and think that they can redeem ANYTHING...impossible.  Just a broken mess.
So Silas quickly crumbled into a pile of broken peices and didn't want to wear socks or put on boots or anything.  And I heard my sweet friend Michelle in my ear saying "Just hug him". So I got on my knees and held him and he melted in my arms.  And I melted into his.  And this was just what I needed.  I brought him over to Jeff and as I walked away I heard Jeff say to him, "Silas, even on your worse day, we love you." And I smiled.  Because that's what we need more than anything, to be loved on our worse day. Please love me on my worse day. Please love your kids on their worse day.  I promise that we will melt into a pile of goo. And all the hard places will crumble away.
So I have more photos of pumpkins and a football game.  And out side a few snooty looks and comments (mostly from yours truly), the day was ok.  I mean not like this wonderful day that I imagined, but Jeff and I were laughing really hard in the car on the way home from the game, and holding hands, and laughing so hard we where crying...so that's a pretty good turn around.  I'll take it...

You May Also Like

2 comments

  1. You are so good with words! What a beautiful picture of your day and your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for sharing your life. You are a wonderful Momma!! Would it help to do laundry at my house? :) (By the way this is Candice not Jon. Don't want to creap you out.)

    ReplyDelete

Hi Post a Comment!!!